Assless Chaps

No, we're not talking about English guys who have weak bottoms. These are the girls you love, exposing the things you love about them in the moist delicious way. Yes, they're way out...of their pants. Bottoms up! Wendy Hamilton and Julie K. Smith in The Dallas Connection (1994) shows us life is butt a stage and we're all perverts upon it. Even Shakespeare’s quill couldn’t write a finer ass. Melanie Griffith in Body Double (1984) doesn't need one with a tush like that! She’s cheeky and her tattooed butt is a wank of art. Annette Haven in 10 (1979) turns us up to 11. Just add the e of ejaculation to her name and we’re all going to Heaven. Jenae Altschwager in Stripper Academy (2007) gets good grades with her pantless assignment. We’ll give it an A for arousal. Lorraine Bracco in Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1994), but you won't after seeing some bottomless fun. Now if only those girls would ride us cowgirl-style. Little girls are made of sugar and spice, but Jessica Alba in Sin City (2005) is made of lace and buns. We prefer that combo. Why can't the girls next door to us look like Kendra Wilkinson in The Girls Next Door (2005)? Don’t ass why, just look at that ass! Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth in The Surreal Life (2003) is living the bare life. These are the end times, people, and who wouldn’t want to live through them with living ends like these?